on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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