Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
