Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
