with your own penis?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
