I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
