as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Are my feet made of real feet?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize