Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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