Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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