I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
