yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
vagina is talking i cant
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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