I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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