i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize