I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
