Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
