If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
