She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize