I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize