Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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