Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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