oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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