Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
