I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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