Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My dick has a subreddit
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
