They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
