Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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