it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
