opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
