S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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