I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize