Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Houston, we have a blender
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
