you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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