just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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