Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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