Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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