we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
