So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
