thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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