dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
