Reggie can tackle my bush.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
