So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
