It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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