I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
