The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
