"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
