I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
