Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
