and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
