If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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