dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
