i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
