Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
