i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
