I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
