That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
