we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
