Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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