Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
