That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
