im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
