We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
