K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
