I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just found puke in my bra..
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
