do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
