I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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