'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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