you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize