I'm eating all of the evidence.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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