I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
