its not stalking. its research.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
