Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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