why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
