It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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