I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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